Newfie jokes

I have a book of Newfie jokes and I wanted to share them on my blog.

Newfie,"Do you know what I think of you?"
Torontonian,"No,what?"
Newfie,"I was hoping you'd think of something"

I once knew a newfie who threw himself at the floor and missed.

Aggie,"I saw you tonight jarge. Why were you comming out of that pub at midnight?"
Jarge,"WEll Aggie..hic...I had to come out sometime"

Nova Scotian,"What did that suit cost you?"
Newfie,"a small down payment and a change of address."

"I play hockey, i stand at six feet, two inches and weigh two hundred and seven pounds. My slapshot was timed at one hundred fifty-four mph and i can skate fourty miles an hour. What do you think of that?"
coach,"Will you join my team?"
"That may be a problem, you see i'm married and I don't think my husband would approve"

Newfie walked into a store and asked for two cans of dog food.
Clerk,"Where is your dog?"
Newie,"home"
Clerk,"well, I can't see you the dag food"
a day later, newfie walked in and asked for a can of cat food.
Clerk,"Where is your cat?"
Newfie,"home"
Clerk,"Well I can't sell you the cat food"
Two days later newfie came in carrying a brown paper bag.
Newfie,"put your hand in here."
Clerk,"What is that soft stuff?"
Newfie,"I would like a roll of toilet paper."

Did you like them? This is only a little bit but i am getting tired of typing and Alphadog is at my house. i will post some more later